Also, do they perpetuate “attachment disorders” amongst disadvantaged kids?
I know this is a controversial topic, but the thought slipped in quietly through the back door of my heart, an extra entrance that my daughters sneakily installed when they entered the universe. The question took root from the following observations:
As missionaries we have the privilege of crossing paths with many like-minded sojourners. When you meet someone on the same page, there is a ‘click’ and deep, soulful bonds are formed very quickly. No need to explain, justify or listen to rationalisations (I much prefer the unapologetic!). We are freed to be ourselves and enjoy each other’s company. These encounters form the ‘grace notes’ of a life’s symphony.
We also have the opportunity to meet with people who are exploring new missional paradigms for their lives. Most are young and full of positive, inquisitive energy. As a result, for very short bursts our children get attached to some of them very quickly as most are really are great with kids.
Then, just like that, they are gone from their lives, usually forever…
Our kids are lucky as they have both parents and a few deep & stable relationships from which to leap at life.
Most kids from the broken communities we live in do not. The attachments they form create high levels of stress and anxiety within them when severed; hence they are unusually clingy very early on. I initially mistook this for me being a wonderful revelation of God’s love and presence in a hurting world, until I was taken aside and whispered to (ouch!).
Now, can you see how these trips might actually counterproductive for the healthy development of children from broken families?
Does it not also follow that this may not be a healthy environment for the growth and development of those on the trips who are being allowed to operate as “Peter Pan’s” (never growing and developing their life vocations past youth / kid’s min – a true charism that I believe very few are graced with for the long-term)?
What are some guidelines that can be put in place to make these trips healthy and beneficial for all the in “long term” (which is the opposite of “short term”)?
12 responses so far ↓
1 jenn // Dec 10, 2005 at 1:57 pm
“…(never growing and developing their life vocations past youth / kid’s min – a true charism that I believe very few are graced with for the long-term.”
I am greatly offended by that statement and think it is made out of ignorance and a disrespect for children’s ministry. Youth/children’s ministry is not a “stepping stone” to “real” ministry to adults. 80% of people make a decision to serve Christ between the ages of 4 - 14 years old.
The ministry I work in now, with disadvantaged/at risk children at teens, have a lot of short term visitors, and interns that stay only for a few months and are gone forever. These visitors bond with the kids and then are out of their lives forever, for the most part. This might seem cruel, but for one, these visitors and interns can only really “get” what these children live like and experience by experiencing it WITH the kids. Then they go back to their countries and can spread the passion for ministry to them. Secondly, the kids receive love and attention and I think that is better than being neglected, even if the love and attention is in spurts. At least the kids can say, yes, for one day or for a few months, I knew someone loved and cared about me. Thirdly, there is a core group of adults that is a consistant presence in the life of the child. Kids are more resislient than you think.
2 Jon Owen // Dec 10, 2005 at 5:40 pm
Jenn, the comment in no way implies that Kids Min is something one grows out of / or a stepping stone. I was very careful with the wording, you highlighted it:
“youth/kid’s min - a true charism that I believe very few are graced with for the long-term”. I am totally agreeing with you that Kids Min IS a real ministry.
Just about EVERY ministry EXCEPT Kids Min requires people to at least state they feel called to it, doesn’t that upset you that many people tend to “fall into” working with kid’s precious lives because they perceive it to be the “easiest” option? (which it is not, it however, is the easiest way ro get quick ego-satisfaction).
A stable presence is key for everyone. Yet, I disagree that giving anyone intense love for short periods of time then withdrawing it abruptly is better than none at all, I don’t even think that is love.
It is just another mistake.
Kds are extremely resilient, yet we must also realise that every broken bond has an impact, on that I think we can both agree.
Thanks for helping me clarify.
3 Elizabeth Clarkson // Dec 11, 2005 at 5:46 pm
Hi Jon, (and lisa)
It is so true to think that it is amazing to have both parents around on a daily basis. We are experiencing a lot of that over here in “our world” where one parent is absent for long periods of time and is it not a wonder that the kids lack something and it comes out in their behaviour? Duh? Friends and family are so important too as they find role models and seek out advice away from home. We will need that more in the future.
Hope you and Lisa are having a ball of a time over there in Klong Tuey. Say hi to them for me as well as the girls.
And of course the Barkers. Will have to catch up again when you return!
4 Jon Owen // Dec 12, 2005 at 4:05 am
Hi there Liz!
Great to hear from you, pass opur love onto you beautiful kiddies! We are doing great over here and hope you are are well,
Catch Ya when we get back!
5 Danny // Dec 13, 2005 at 7:23 pm
I agree with everything you said. Short term missions trips seem to do more harm than good. But they can do some good, espeically building projects.
6 jenn // Dec 14, 2005 at 4:33 am
I understand what you’re saying and I agree that short term missions trips really are more for the people taking the trip and not for the benefit of the locals. I would prefer “exposure” trips, rather than the short termers coming in like heros to try to save and “minister” to the “natives” whilst taking away jobs and hurting the community in the process.
HOWEVER, that being said, I would hate to see missions trips completely stopped because a) I was called to be a missionary on a missions trip and b) some ministry projects might become negelected if it weren’t for the interest garnered from short term trips.
7 Digger // Dec 14, 2005 at 12:02 pm
Yeah what do you reckon about short-term mission trips where people just go and build stuff Jon?
8 Jon Owen // Dec 14, 2005 at 4:41 pm
Hi everyone, I am not used to so many comments on my blog! Here is a response:
Short-term missions should NOT be stopped, they are too invaluable in their purest forms. I am currently helping someone on a building project in a slum, so biases declared here is my take: If the project is initiaited, planned, performed and directed by the community and is not disempowering in any way (Jenn mentions taking away jobs from locals) then GO FOR IT.
In other words we must fight the tendancy to “take over”. We must go with the rythyms of our hosts. If we can, then projects can work really well. The benefit equation (which I dislike to use economic terms for, but I just did!) is then tipped to a more balanced level, as opposed to being totally skewed in terms of those who go.
Hence, required are VERY SMALL & FLEXIBLE teams. Some days we drink tea for hours and do very little building, and I know I have to go at a certain date, but it is not my project that I am leaving, so that is cool.
Jenn: Thanks for your response, I am with you on the “exposure” front. I have exposed myself regularly here by mistake, my sarong keeps falling off because I can’t tie it Burmese style. I reckon there should be a moral limit to the number of short-term trips one should take.
The expense for one trip is enormous, think about it, it can cost up to $2000+ for OS. Multiply that by 2-3 trips a year and that is staggering when you consider global poverty versus gluttinous experiences ( I made that word up!). It begins to border on ethical consideratons and SIN.
We need total quality people and spaces to assist in the processing of experiences for healthy outcomes, something deeper than “That was ace and challenging! Lets do it again!”
I provided this entry because I believe in these trips, so I want to work out how to make them good again.Thanks for the input.
Cheers all!
9 Lucas Garth // Dec 26, 2005 at 12:09 am
As someone with zero experience in this area personally - not having been on either short-term mission or longer experiences - my experiences have been longer term youth leadership plus camps. These have been successful in the long-term bring Christ into young lives” goal, but mainly with church-based/seeker kids. In terms of the question posed - how to structure mission experiences in such a way that inexperienced people get a chance to sample part of the mission, but don’t do damage while they learn, I suggest the following:
1) Ideally a longer period of time working, alongside people who are long-haulers
2) Helps-based ministry - support in whatever way you can but preferably not front-line relationship work if at all possible
3) Regular and prayerful connections with people who do contribute long-term work - talking through sensitive areas such as personal journals to discuss struggles, now that the inexperienced have seen “what it’s like”.
Discipleship doesn’t come easy - and probably short-term mission trips of this nature on the whole further perpetuate the myth that we aren’t “on mission” every day of our lives, whether ministering to the poor and destitute or the Spring St end of town in Melbourne, or working in our retail job. You can’t just put on faith when you’re a “missio” - it’s a way of life that encompasses your being
I work in IT and see a definite calling to bring the light of Christ into my very secular and consumeristic workplace. Change from the inside…not easy.
Cheers for the read and discussion. Let’s hope we see more in the solutions column and more thoughts on the issue. For the good of all.
10 Jon Owen // Dec 28, 2005 at 11:49 am
Thanks for the insights Lucas, all great points. Mission should not have to be a word really, we all are meant to be co-creators with God, in trying to usher in the God’s kingdom as it is in heaven.
God Bless Ya!
11 charlie // Dec 30, 2005 at 11:51 am
Hi Jon and Lisa,
Casey and Charlie here.
great artical for us to read. we’re coming to Bangkok next week then heading up to the border for a few months. read some where else on your blog that you’ve been up there… will you be there again jan/feb/march? anything else u think we should be thinking about in our last week in perth?
12 josh // Mar 26, 2006 at 4:20 pm
Ive been on short term stuff where you just build stuff, and are paraded in front people… like movie stars… it was on both occasions, a very humbling experience. They see how ego centric you and your culture is, and so do you.. It is a bit like missionary tourism.. and that aspect sickens me, but i dunno, I visited N.T. and we provided enough hands to get 2 months worth of practical work done in a week… But im glad some people are reflective enough to put these issues out there…
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